
Doing psychology, I learn an array of wild and what seems far-fetched theories. I think one of the most shocking was the idea that depression is beneficial for human mental health. The idea proposes that we isolate ourselves from others, sleep more, and cut ourselves off from society to preserve energy. Upon hearing this I thought it was ridiculous, but over lockdown I feel as if I have been a human subject of this theory in action. Due to COVID, we have been separated from what makes us human – the ability to socialise, communicate, and connect. This has magnified for me certain habits and relationships that serve no other purpose than convenience and are at-most damaging. This may sound harsh, but it is so easy to dedicate energy to dead-ends especially when we are moving at 100mph, and in the slo-mo of COVID, it has become clear to me that growth requires a dedication of energy to the right sources.
This year has been an emotional rollercoaster across the world, causing strain and hurt in unimaginable ways. As someone who is blessed to have spent this time in four walls, surrounded by people that I love, I know I am extremely privileged in this sense. My aim for myself is to be the best version of myself that I can be.
Cancel culture, cut them off, ghosting all screams ‘black and white’ thinking to me – which I am guilty of. Placing things in drastic ‘good’ or ‘bad’ categories, with no grey area for manoeuvre in between. This way, it is easy to hold a grudge and set unrealistic and unhealthy boundaries for changing relationships in our lives. Michaela Coel’s ‘I may destroy you’ inspired me to no longer hold on to hurt, trauma, or grudges, and that the most painless recovery is simply letting go. It is easy to cut contact with someone, block them, or avoid any hurt they may have caused us, but the true release from pain is acceptance and growth. More easily said than done, forgiving others or ourselves is one of the best forms of self-care. No malice, no resentment, just peace.
Over the past year, through the force of isolation I have explored more of my mind than ever before. One thing I learned about myself is that one of my coping mechanisms is hope. For someone who is impatient, hope can often look like progress, and over the last year this has not been something easily seen anywhere. So, over the past 12 months, this has manifested itself through my plant collection – to be able to look at something and know it is growing, it is alive, and the world has not come to a complete standstill. Trying my hardest to not sound like the crazy plant lady, my plants have taught me something about the nature of our minds. Hear me out.

When plants suffer from damage, certain leaves, stems, or buds may rot – and at the time, this feels devastating, but the wonderful thing about plants is that they are biologically designed to keep going. When this damage is removed, it enables the plant not only to grow back, but to grow further, and more healthily. Humans go through a similar process as children called synaptic pruning – where the brain decays any dead roots that no longer serve a purpose. For example, if I learned to play guitar for 5 weeks, and then give up, my ability to play fades away as the neurons in my brain decay. Having said that, I have noticed this applies to our emotional wellbeing too.
Holding onto things that no longer serve us – whether that be a relationship, or pain we have not let go of, is like that of a plant holding on to a dead leaf – it serves no purpose but wasted energy. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is admit things for what they are and treat them accordingly. This switch of energy feels sharp like a knife cutting through a stem but yields wonderful results. Going through the motions to understand what we give energy to is a lengthy process full of hurt, healing, but eventually growth. So, for that reason, I am calling this emotional pruning. And I am going to practice it more going ahead, understanding that the areas of my life that I nourish, are the ones that will flourish.
